It is precisely six months yesterday since I began this blog, and in view of that fact I believe it is time for a little evaluation—an overview of what this blog has been and continues to be to me. It started as a new and exciting undertaking. It has turned into a learning experience.
It may seem a bit strange and perhaps even a little self-centered to some, but one of my main struggles is simply to understand myself. Have you ever felt the torment of having started a new friendship and being terrified that the person in question will somehow “find you out” and will shun you because you were found lacking? My comfort is that God knows me inside out—and loves me anyway. But people aren’t always so unconditional, and I have felt the pain (however imaginary it may be) of failure and rejection. I suppose the less time spent stewing about such things the better.
I was talking about self-discovery. Who am I really? Is what I write really and truly a manifestation of the real me? And is it really that important to search out one’s self? But forgive me, my eloquence is becoming not so very eloquent.
Another of my interests is to understand others. All these people around me, my family, my friends—even my fellow bloggers. I seek to understand what makes them tick so to speak. What causes their actions and reactions, their emotions, their values? What is important to each individual? To become acquainted with this myriad of characters, and hearts is not un-useful to such a predominantly intuitive person such as I. I am concerned that I will offend, will be the cause of grief or discomfort, and so I work to know how I may avoid such blunders. I don’t know if you would call this a science or an art form, but it certainly is somewhere along those lines.
But too much ado about my interests. This blog has provided a means of self-discovery, and others-discovery in a very nice manner, and I can only hope that my ramblings will have really meant something and not have been just a bunch of words on a page somewhere in cyber-space.
Saturday, April 23, 2005
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10 comments:
Happy Anniversary!!
Thanks Grace!
Jordan--thanks for the comment. You know "there is nothing new under the sun". Somehow I always feel that whatever I have to say here on my blog is exclusively mine. As if no one else had ever felt or thought the same things! Its really a conceited way to live and I'm just realizing that.
That's a great quote, but as for being infatuated with words--it is a far better thing to be infatuated with words than many other things in this world!
Isn't that the neat thing about writing? You might think it's your original idea, but someone out there will identify with what's presented, and share your perspective. A quote I love from a pupil of C.S. Lewis is: "We read to know we're not alone."
That is wonderful Erin, "we read to know we're not alone". Books are really the connection among humanity. Maybe that's why I'm addicted...
I agree with you Jordan, about the follies of youth, that though they are follies, can be beautiful and give birth to invention, and productive lives. It is something to temper, but take delight in.
Rebekah,
Congratulation on a succesful 6mo. of blogging!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I know that feeling of fear that you mentioned about showing a side of yourself that will turn others off or hurt them. I think about that sometimes too since I am finding myself around so many people that are new to me. You said it so well, how wonderful it is to know the Lord who always loves us no matter how imperfect we are.
I have really been surprised at how much people's personalities really do show in their blogs. There is a certain amount of vulnerablity that comes with sharing things in this format. But hopefully we will all come to know ourselves better by seeing our thoughts in type.
Fun stuff...I mean, anniversaries are always fun! I will turn one in June! That is my blog will...oh, never mind me.
I dig you! =)
Hello Sir--thank you for your comment. I am honored that someone with so much life experience would consider my musings to be so very worthy.
I am happy, and with God's help I will live long and most definately will write on.
Just thought I'd let you know I enjoyed your comments here. I've been discovering myself since the age of 15. I'm 45 now and still learning more about myself as I go through life.
It's amazing that the physical journey that most people try to take to discover themselves is really an internal journey. Life itself, with the ups, downs and hardships we face can show us who we are by the decisions we make. The problem is that to many times we prefer the image we think we are to the image we are actually confronted with by the decisions we make from the reactions to life.
What has amazed me lately is that unconditional love God has for us. There was a sign out front of the church I attend that I thought was great and you'd enjoy. "We are not the sum of our mistakes. We are the sum of our possibilities"
God's best Rebekah. Great name by the way. My neice has the same name, just spelt differently.
I know how you feel about the starting of relationships. I feel that way sometimes with people I have known all my life let alone someone I just met. Happy Anniversary!!!!!!
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