Friday, April 29, 2005

~full and free~

My father died of a brain tumor when I was still in the womb. Since Jesus took him my mother has raised my six siblings and myself on her own. She even made the descision to educate us almost completely at home. I will never forget an occasion when she had taken a job as a waitress. I was still young and didn't like it one bit. After only a few days of work she quit and came home to me. Yes at times I've wanted my father--wanted him like you wouldn't believe. But how could I be so ungrateful for long, when God has blessed me with such a fantastic mother? This is for her.


She's here, she's there
It seems to me she's everywhere.
She's picking up toys,
She's feeding little boys.
Even though she's tied all through,
She still has a hug for you.
Her love is full and free,
For my brothers, my sisters, and me.
~~~
Sometimes things are rough,
Even through sickness she's tough
For there's meals to be laid
And there's beds to be made.
Play is hard for some kids--
Sleep is falling on heavy eyelids.
Her love is full and free,
For my brothers, my sisters, and me.
~~~
We're grown, some have gone away.
She hopes that some are here to stay.
No one will ever know how long
She's prayed that we would keep from wrong.
All alone she raised us, but did she?
I think there was help--from the Trinity.
Always her love is full and free,
For my brothers, my sisters, and me.

24 comments:

Crystal said...

Rebekah,
That was wonderful. I hope you have printed that up and given it to your mom. You have real talent for writting poety. I wish I had a tiny bit of that! Use it well for all of us who don't quite have the gift!

CelloChic said...

You are so dear to me, Rebekah. Your poem is beyond critism to me b/c it tells of your inner longings, trials, and resolve for contentment.
Your whole fam. is such proof of God's loving refinement and care. I feel for you b/c I think you were deprived, but then I turn around and almost envy your view of and relationship with God as your FATHER who never dies. He must be even dearer to your heart b/c of your father's death.

Crystal said...

Sunshine,
It's not a blessing to loose a father, death is a result of sin, but depending on how you take it it can be one of the refining processes that we are told about in the process of bringing out the gold. You can either become bitter and resent God or you can realize that no matter what happens to you God will never leave you nor forsake you even if the results of living in a sin filled earth make your earthly life difficult. I personally have struggeled with this when as a young adult my father turned his back on God, our family and his former life and returned to his old life of drugs, abuse and drinking. I have gone through periods of anger at God for letting this happen but then I realized that this was not His fault and through it all and through my rantings and railings He was still there and never left me. I hope that makes sense to you. It's not the death that is a blessing it's the opportunities for growth that it provides in having to rely on God more fully than you ever thought possible.

CelloChic said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
CelloChic said...

I am by no means saying that actually losing her father was a blessing, but the end result of how God cared for her and her family was a blessing. Her life shows that God works all things for the good of those that love Him.

Kristi said...

Oh Beka, That was beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing that with us. What an example! May God bless you all!

Kristi said...

I totally agree with you Erin. I too, see that.

CelloChic said...

Wow. That man your story infuriates me! I'm not promoting asceticism, but Americans are too "posh." I believe that God "doesn't necessarily want us to be happy, he wants us to love and be loved. He wants us to grow up....Pain is God's megaphone to rouse a defended world." -Lewis

Rebekah said...

Thank you everyone for your comments. I wasn't sure about publishing this post, and I almost feel that I should apologize for its personal nature.

Mother's Day will be here soon and I think that my mom's children should "rise up and call her blessed". That is what I have tried to do here. Lovings!

Joshua said...

That's really incredible Rebekah. Especially: "All alone she raised us, but did she? I think there was help--from the Trinity."
I think you are totally right Erin about a loss in some ways being a blessing. Though I don't understand it I think the best example is Fanny Crosby who wrote 700 or so hymns. She was blind from birth, but said that she was glad she was blind because the first thing she would see would be the face of Jesus.

La*Oriente said...

There is not much more that I can say then that which has already been said, but that was GREAT Beka!! A truely magnificent tribute to your mom!

Anonymous said...

Dear sister, I will indeed do my utmost to-as you so eloquently quoted-"rise up and call her blessed". Thanks so much for the reminder. Most humble thanks.

Anonymous said...

Also, Rebekah, thanks for inspiring such conversation, such as the previous comments. You are very dear to me. Thanks to all who commented to explain and clarify our family's experience. Through it all our family grew up-and still are-very close, though we are thousands of miles apart.

Crystal said...

Nicholas,
As to may statement that through sin came death Sunshine was on the right track. If Adam and Eve had never fallen to temptation in the garden of Eden there would be no death in the world today. God had said that the wages of sin is death and so when they sinned they opened the door for Satan to have his way in the world. That way is to bring sin and suffering that will cause people to doubt God's goodness. It has been quite effective and one of easiest places to see that is in the statement that floods, hurricanes or other calamities are often called acts of God. They are allowed or are the outworking of consequences but they are not sent by God to cause pain and suffering. I hope that makes sense.

Crystal said...

Sunshine, You are right that people (not just Americans) want to avoid pain. This is true and our society today is made up of lots of people trying to find an escape through movies, music, drugs, alcohol, etc. Anything that will take their minds off of reality. Saddly they are missing the answer and the only thing that will give them a real foundation not matter what they are facing.

Crystal said...

Rebekah,
I am sorry we sort of took this and ran in a different direction than you intended. I have in no way wanted to belittle your tribute or your families experience. As I went back and re-read all the postings it's probably a little weird having everyone talk about your family without really involving you. I hope you were not offended.

Anonymous said...

Can anyone of you doubt that I am truly BLESSED to have my Father in Heaven care for me in such a way--by giving me such children? (to a mom they will always be her children) He has blessed me far beyond that which I could ask or think and I am humbled by it! I love you Rebekah--and all my dear "children"!

Andrea said...

Wow Beka,
I don't really know what to say except that that was truly beautiful keep up the good work.

gr@ce said...

VERY sweet Beka=)

Rebekah said...

Thanks for commenting peoples! I don't feel at all that you have belittled my post at all--on the contrary, I am very happy that everyone has been prompted to such lively discussion!

Mom--love you!

Nate--*sob* love you, come back soon now ya hear?

Mark said...

Sorry to be absent so long.

Thanks for writing poetry for the rest of us. It may be some time before I try my hand at something like that...

Thanks Mom--I think the rest of my thoughts are better said in person.

Anna said...

Thankyou Beka!
I knew you wrote poetry but I think you've been hiding from us what you really can do!
Love you girl!!
Love you Mom too!!!

sarah said...

It is not easy to grow up without a father. It is not easy to raise children without a husband. There is no way to suger-coat that. Close your eyes and imagine your life without your father. Not easy, is it? Some people told us that God was unjust to take our father from us when we needed him so much. Sometimes I believed them.

I have struggled to believe that God is good and just. But now, I do not believe God just *allows* things to happen. Read Job. We could ask, "Why would God allow a righteous man to suffer?" I don't know, but Job sure learned a lot about the difference between God and man. "Where were you. . .?" We cannot dictate to God what we think He should do. We are to trust in His sovereign will and his abiding love for His people.

In the words of a wonderful hymn:
"Whate'er my God ordains is right, His holy will abideth. I will be still whate'er betide and follow where He guideth. He is my God, though dark my road; He holds me that I shall not fall, wherefore to Him I leave it all."

This is not apathy or fatalism. I still hurt, I still want, but "I will be still" and "follow where He guideth." This is trust. This is faith.

Anonymous said...

Hi Rebekah!! That poem was so touching!! To tell you the truth I almost cried when I read it.

Anonymous