How many Rebekah's does it take to live a "normal" life? How many times can I divide myself on this life calculator before I mush into a thoughly mushy and incomprehensible decimal that rambles on with no meaning or purpose--something like 2.333333333333333333...
"There is always someone to miss-no matter where you are."
--Sarah, Plain and Tall
I wish I could send a piece of me everywhere I want to be--although if I were to be so unwise, I suspect that neither I nor any of my loved ones would receive full benefit or satisfaction from any ensuing actions I may undertake to accomplish. One does not want half a girl. Or a quarter of one for that matter. I don't know if God will ever grant me a place on this mission island we call earth that I can sink my toes into and call "home."
Home is overrated. It is distracting, has a terrible tendency to stand in the way of whole-hearted service to God (or progress of any kind), selfish--it has a shocking habit of taking priority when making decisions. It is also a very beautiful, warm and security-filled place where we are nurtured faithfuly by loving parents for the first two decades-or-so of our lives. Nevertheless, home is given its value by the people who dwell therein. Without this human element, home would be a hollow shell of emptiness, easily cast aside and exchanged for the excitement on a perpetually new horizon.
I would like to separate myself, not from the love of home, but from the need of home--from the desire of home. If I could free myself of this one finite need, perhaps I would be happier, and more effective as a child of God than I ever could have been clutching to the feeble, sinful cave I call home. This is a study in letting go. This is a study in trusting God with the very ground beneath my feet, the roof above my head. I want to say to God:
"Blow me on your wonderful, hurtful winds of change wherever I should go--just come with me all the way. I know you will come with me all the way."
Saturday, September 16, 2006
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9 comments:
Because we've moved so much (I can't believe my family has actually now lived in Lynden for almost 5 years! Crazy!) I don't really consider any place "Home". So the benefit - like you said Rebekah - is that I'm very ready and willing to be blown on God's winds of change and to serve Him in new places and settings. I'm not very connected to a specific location at all.
I think the downside though is that I have some trouble imagining heaven...in fact occasionally it kind of scares me. I always like things to be changing and moving and there are times when heaven sounds rather stagnant. Now, I mentally know this isn't true and that heaven will be an incredible setting of worship and experiences like never before - but in my heart I can have trouble associating it with anything. With your love of home it may be that your conception of heaven is far more accurate and full than mine. Do you think that is true?
Interesting post Becka. I don't have anything brilliant to post back but I just wanted to say welcome back to and hope to see you sometime soon. Best of luck starting school this coming week. I am only taking a night class so I probably won't ever see you on campus, unfortunately.
Joshua--
You may not have a solid earthly concept of home as I do, however, having been blown about all you life by the soveriegn will of our Lord, you are ready for anything. You will be ready to enter His rest because you love what He desires and what He delights in. You have followed Him very tangibly around this earth your entire life--you will follow Him there.
Because I have long had a very concrete view of home, I think I may find it difficult to see any other place as welcoming, as a legitimate home meant for me.
I have few fears of heaven--it is the only place of ultimate joy and peace--the fact that we will be there for all eternity doesn't change that a whit. It doesn't change it because God has promised to "sweetly bend" our wills to His--therefore we certainly will find it the place of ultimate joy and peace.
That's too bad about your night class Crystal--perhaps I'll meet you studying sometime?
Oh Rebekah. Home is not a place, its where all the people you love is. So in your case you have many different homes. God has blessed you with many different places you can go and be loved.
I definately believe that home is where those you love are. There's a line from Michael Card's song "Home" that says, "I believe home is just heaven's reflection as long as my home's here with you."
I love that quote from "Sarah, Plain and Tall." I just watched that movie last week.
Yeah, Bek. I would tend to agree with Gloria. At this point in time I have about four or five "homes". Although not my true and final home(s), God has seen fit to give me places where there are people who are near and dear to my heart. And in those places, I would be happy to build my own "home". And in that place, you will always be welcome: my home is your home. Mi casa su casa. Love to my sis.
Hello Bek! Heres my cog in the wheel! What would you say to someone who has no family, and who after becoming a Chritian by reading the Bible, doesn't know there is anyone out there who is a believer. Can he ever be at home? Could John on the isle be at home? Just some thoughts. We should center our ideas of home around our Lord, not people--you can tell I've had to do this. Even in the best of marriages, we are not at home if our home is not in Christ. It's easy to make my family my first priority, but I don't end up being happy!--Rachel
Hey Rachel! Thanks for setting me straight. I really appreciated your words. Ya know, maybe I aughta call more often or somethin'. Hmmm...
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