Sunday, May 06, 2007

The dining room dissertation and me

In desperate need of tea, I set to work. Soon steam was rippling like transparent silk towards the dining room chandelier, free from the bonds of gravity. Hope was addressing me from the rotating tape deck on the table, insistent in its honest sincerity. Why joy? I wonder. Why joy in the worst of times? Because these are the best of times.

"It takes real faith in a real Christ to weather the storms," the tape deck declares. Do I dare believe? Do I dare "put my confidence in Christ alone"? In dissapointment also, He is trustworthy, it said. "Faith brings the glory of Christ in the present experience." He's the one I need, He's the one I want. Only. "When did I let myself forget again?" my pen wonders as it hushes across my journal page.

Why should I look to any other source for comfort? Or for hope, or joy, or fulfillment, or delight? My tea is cold, but I still see steam rising like rippling gray silk toward heaven. He has love that can intoxicate the soul. Because He is in Himself the essence of empathy. He knows.

"So I'm on my way back home into the hands that made the wine from the water, into the hands, the hands of the potter."

The tape said that peaceful coexistence is not love. It is not knowing and being known. My eyes trace the lines of glass panes in the china cabinet like a cathedral window. He loves beyond the love of honor or duty or "function." Oh God, help me to remember this tomorrow, and the next day and the next day.

4 comments:

Crystal said...

What a nice, peaceful post! We have nothing to fear for the future except we forget the past so read this one often, I think it will serve you well in the future. I enjoyed the visual of picturing you sitting at the table dreaming, staring at the china cabinet, tea in hand, journal next you, pen laying idle! Nicely written.

Little Wolf said...

A positively beautiful post! I recently had a simlilar experience - remembering (again) that God is the ultimate source of comfort and strength. God's love is all that I need, and all I should truly want. Once I realized this, I was walking on sunshine! What love...
Love you Bekah,
Kathy

Janel said...

What a great post. Thanks for the encouragement.

I miss seeing you and having prayer group together. Have you been able to go to the new one that started this quarter? My schedule is way to crazy to come but I hope that a lot of you have been able to meet together.

Rebekah said...

Yes, we have been able to keep up prayer group--we even have some new blood now. We've been keeping the Monday one, and doing Wednesday for people who can't make that one. We do miss you though! I hope to see you around sometime. :) I so miss working out with you Janel--we should get together.