The sun is beginning to seep its gently insistent warmth into our bones. Shorts have ressurected from the sad graves of long-forgotten corners in our drawers. Freckles have once again made their unapolagetic presence known after months of hybernation. There is a lazy haziness about everyone--students and teachers alike; who could resist loitering a few minutes longer under the comforting rays of God's natural greenhouse?
To quote the bard: "Ah, there's the rub!" There are only a few things that I can truly say that I fear. Really, honestly fear. For your enjoyment, the following list has been provided:
-Bees (Not honeybees--wasps. I'm getting over this one. Slowly.)
-Darkness (Sometimes. This one always depends on circumstances.)
-Being alone (I have found that for the benefit of my mental health and general well-being, I should avoid aloneness as much as possible.)
Now for the killer:
-Apathy. Dullness. Luke-warmness. Lack of inspiration. Lack of passion. Lack of motivation. Lack of joy. Lack of God.
This is my ultimate and extreme fear. I fear boredom and sulleness. My breath catches in my chest in the utter pain of frustration at the mere thought of such a dreadful state of being. God has not called me to be dull, lifeless, boring. God has made me vibrant, and I will grow more so every day of my life-- so help me God.
Spring has brought on an epidemic of restless non-productivity. The prime topic of conversation among students at WCC is as follows:
-Summer plans, and oh how dreadfully unmotivated I have become academically.
People are bemoaning their lack of dedication during this infuriatingly beautiful season. We alternate between bubbly, upbeat playfulness during weekends and supposed "study time," and complete dulness in the classroom. Scores of good folks are taken to sun-bathing--I included. We say to ourselves, "I'll sit out in the sun and do some homework for a while."
Somehow it just doesn't happen that way. As soon as the seat of my pants hit turf, I'm lost. Taken captive by the distracting beauty surrounding me. Who can read their Poly-Sci textbook when weighted down by the softly suffocating, intoxicating loveliness of nature?
But then guilt inevitably comes. Like the grim reaper he persists in wounding us with much-needed, enlivening conviction. The moment of reckoning comes like a sweet, however painful, rebirth. Thank God He does not leave us wandering restlessly with every breeze that blows for too long. He steps in and severs unhealthy, maddening, deadening complacency from our wayward hearts.
Perhaps this season of frustration serves as a prod to wake us up to the realization of our humanity once again. This trial too shall pass, and when it does it shall leave behind a more beautiful, more vibrant me behind.
Oh Brighter Lord!
Ever brighter I shall grow--
Brighter still till all of me is aglow.
Who can abide the sullen dullness of sin,
When the light of His glorious person calls you in?
Closer to His arms I shall fly--
Till all else fades in my besotted eye.
His charms have wooed me sweetly,
I can do none other than fly to Him fleetly.
Always wrapped in His cloak I shall hide--
Till all covered and hidden is my pitiful pride.
All you can see of me,
Is the glory of Christ reflected and free.
Sanctified evermore, I shall be--
Till in the rapture of glory, His faithful face I see.
No more to chasten shall He appear,
Rather to glory in the now perfected bride who has shed all her fear.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
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12 comments:
Wow, Bek! Did you write that poem yourself? Personally, I'm speachless. I don't know how you do it. To compose such verse is truly a gift.
Love you sis.
Yes, this is mine, praise the Lord. He allowed my soul to be poured out in this one. I love you too bro.
That was beautiful Rebekah
That was pretty deep but it sounded nice.
Thank you kindly dear men.
Are you insinuating, oh noble sir, that I put on airs of extreme loftiness? I hope not.
Nope i am just saying it was deeper than I can Go.:)
It's not too incredibly deep, Just very colourfuly worded, as she is so capable of doing.
It was a wonderful poem. Your poetry always makes me think. I am missing you terribly. So I think either one of us needs to see each other more often.
"All you can see of me,
Is the glory of Christ reflected and free."
I love those lines. Incredible feelings there Rebekah, and poetically I think it is the best I have read of your poems.
Being alone is an interesting fear. I think it is maybe one that deserves more pondering. We are to be relational beings, but there are times when we should be alone with God and ourselves - Jesus made a habit of doing that (Matthew 14:22-23). Maybe you just meant not alone from God though, but I read it as alone from other humans.
Yes, freckles...the closest I can ever get to a tan :)
Thank you Joshua. I don't think I very often conciously seek to be alone with God. I find that opportunities like that abound as it is. At school, on the bus, doing homework--basically my life. I think the only time I try to be alone is when I am fighting a bad attitude or something of that nature. As you say this is something to ponder. Being alone from God would be the ultimate degree of this fear. I praise Him that I need never face that condition!
It is far to easy to forget about God in our day to day lives if life is going well. This is perhaps one of the bigger tests of life. If we are still faithful to God when things are going well.
Hmmm...maybe we should do a swap for a week Rebekah...I think it would be good for me to have more of a focus throughout the day on God. Maybe it would be good for you to spend some time consciously setting aside time with God?
Wow, I don't know exactly how I would do my part - it is a lot of a mindset I think, and maybe personality a touch. I'll have to ponder that :)
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