Quotes and Chronicles

Wednesday, 21 June, 2006
10:25 p.m.
Penryn, CA

Quotes of Joel:

"Those dry heaves will get you every time."

"Church showers are very important because cleanliness is next to Godliness" (whispered confidingly into my startled ear).

A Mary Chronicle:

It was evening--that was evidenced by the bright, mystical glow of the many lamp-posts that were keeping their stations in a gratifyingly faithful manner, and also by the tell-tale sizzle of the many moths who blunderingly came to their pitiful ends after having been lured by a dreadful pest terminator contraption. Mary and I were looking out upon these things from inside the deck door with much curiosity in the frank, open manner of children.

Suddenly, the serenity of this idyllic scene was snapped in one cosmic moment. Mary was having a fit of some kind (I know because I have had many a fit in my long life), complete with thrashing arms, stomping feet, and over-exerted vocal chords. I hadn't decided whether she was especially happy, sad, frustrated , or merely insane when I heard her proclaim in a piercing voice, "A mosquito, a mosquito!" thus dispelling my ignorance and enlightening me to the true nature of the crisis at hand. Presently, Mary calmed considerably and informed me that there was indeed a mosquito in the house. I, needless to say, remained unaffected, unruffled etc. That is, until my darling neice warned me in a startling melodramatic tone:

"There's a mosquito on you--right there!" and pointed ominously at my shirt. How could I supress the prevailing impulse longer? I did what anyone would have done under the circumstances--I danced. Much to the satisfaction of my fiendish companion, who laughed.

The End