Friday, October 19, 2007

I went to the wilderness

I went to the wilderness because a hand of destiny beckoned.
I went to the wilderness unwilling, stubborn, afraid, like a captive
Squirrel to civilization. And when the cage bars rose away above me I
Looked up and couldn’t see the doorway it had left behind. Scary
Doorway, beautiful bars, precious, safe. Scary doorway, leave me
Alone. I went to the wilderness weeping, like a widow. I mourned
For my precious future, gone, gone, gone like all other little precious
Nothings that I longed for. I wore black to the wilderness and the veil
That I lay over my red face billowed like a thundercloud above me.
I wore black to my wedding, cold shrew that I was, I wore black to the
Happy day in the wilderness valley. I did not know it was happy.
I could not see. I could only cry for my precious, precious future, oh future
Of dreams, of desires, of delight, oh future, precious, why have you gone?
But no answer would come from my precious, so bright, so beautiful.
It was gone. And so I went to the wilderness, following a strange
Stirring, a whispering in the air, not as a bold adventurer, off
To new undiscovered lands of mystery, but as
A new widow goes to the gravesite, weary, betrayed, seemingly
Alone. But I was not alone. The stirring became a walking, and the
Whispering became a voice, and there in the wilderness, it walked, and
It spoke. What it said is not as important as what it meant, but I shall
Tell you anyway. It said, “Trust me.” Simply that, which is easy to tell
But not so easy to understand. But at those words the veil tore away from my head and I watched it fly, black tulle extended like
Grasping hands towards me as it flew up and away from me. And with
It went a part of me that mourned for my precious. All that stayed
Was a woman, standing, surprised, with joy in her face and trust
In her heart.

No comments: